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Vital Signs and Remedies for a Full Spectrum World
by Roxanne Nelson

6 March 2005

Surprise, Your Dick Ain’t Growing

So some guys feel inadequate and think that all takes to become the life of the party, the Casanova of the 21st century, and to collect more wives than King Solomon is to grow a larger dick. And with ads a-plenty, offering penis enlargement and Viagra (once it grows, you still need to get it up there), some men have been duped into thinking that large dicks are cultivated and not handed out at birth.

Of course, surgery can enhance what you were born with, but there isn’t any pill that’s going to change a four-incher into a one-footer. And now, a New Jersey man has filed a false advertising lawsuit against a maker of herbal penis enlargement pills, alleging the medicine does not fulfill its promises. No kidding, buster.

Two other men filed similar suits last year, against the manufacturers of the herbal dietary supplements, VigRx and Enzyte, charging that they didn’t develop the penis of their dreams, after taking the pills as directed.

You know, even though I think these guys must have been either really desperate or really dumb or both, to be taken in by these ads, I kinda hope they win. And my reasons are selfish. I am inundated with spam, every single, solitary day, from companies trying to sell me viagra, penis enlargers, breast enhancement pills, online poker, prozac, valium, student loans, sex with “hottie” underage girls, great auto loans–you get the idea. If these men win, maybe it will bankrupt the companies who are annoying the hell out of me, and serve as a warning to other spammers. Cease and desist or get sued!

I know, dream on. But hey, good luck guys. You might end up with a million dollars even if your penis is still, well….nevermind.

— roxanne @ 3:45 pm — Comments (0)

Arnold and Oscar

I guess Oscar night, 2005, may be the most memorable ever for Arnold Schwarzenegger. No, he didn’t win a special award for his performance as governor, but he was reminded at every turn that he is making enemies everywhere he turns. And that he is now living in the real world, and can’t just point his gun and say, “I am the Terminator. Agree with me or you die.”

I would have to say that some of the tactics are a little tacky, but sitting around being quiet and ladylike hasn’t done diddly for nursing. This is a case where aggressive action is needed, and the momentum has to be kept up. Arnold needs to realize that he just isn’t going to win this one, and that the people of California don’t intend to bulldozed over, so that he can award his wealthy supporters.

From the California Nurses Association:

RNs Spoil the Oscar Party for Gov. Schwarzenegger

Oscar night, and the morning after, may not bring back the most cherished memories for Gov. Arnold .

Continuing a series of actions to challenge the governor’s attack on RNs, hospital patient safety standards, and a record of non-stop corporate fundraising, the California Nurses Association conducted a series of events that concluded today with a full ad on the inside cover of Hollywood’s largest trade paper, Variety.

Additionally, Monday, Time magazine featured a full page article on the ongoing RN protests against the governor, in a story that opened, “Perhaps someone should have warned Arnold Schwarzenegger that nurses are no pushovers.”

On Sunday, the RNs, joined by the Foundation for Taxpayer and Consumer Rights, sponsored airplanes flying over the Academy Award festivities. The evening concluded an RN political theater and protest performance outside the gala Vanity Fair party that apparently stymied the governor’s plans to arrive at the party and join his fellow celebrities in a walk up the red carpet. Observers on the scene reported that the governor was on route to the party, but aborted his plans on word of the protest.

The ad, appearing directly across from Variety’s reportage on the Oscar winners reminds Variety readers and Gov. Schwarzenegger’s friends in the Hollywood community about the governor’s decision to brand nurses as “special interests” while raising more political cash from corporate donors than any politician in California history. In exchange the ad noted, “as soon as he got to Sacramento, the Governor put vital health policy up for sale. Generous corporations are cashing in big time.”

On Sunday, as celebrants arrived for the Oscar telecast, an “Air Arnold,” plane flew overhead trailing a banner reading, “Bad Actors Make Worse Governors.”

At the Vanity Fair party, as a host of celebrities arrived for the post-Oscar celebration, a limo drove up with six performers in Arnold Schwarzenegger masks. Each climbed out to be greeted by an aging Hollywood “star” presenting “Arnold money” symbolizing public funds that she suggested he pass directly to his corporate executive friends and donors in the pharmaceutical, hospital, energy, car dealer, and film industries.

Concurrently, a crowd of six dozen RN protests showered jeers on the mock performers, while an “Air Arnold” plane flew overhead streaming lighted banners reading, “It’s No Party for Nurses, Teachers and Students,” and “Governor, Stop the Fundraising ” the People.”

The ad may be viewed on the CNA website at www.calnurses.org, and video of the protests may be seen at www.arnoldwatch.org.

— roxanne @ 12:22 pm — Comments (0)

I See You…

This face is too cute. My question is; what is she planning to do? They don’t get this cute unless they’ve got something up their sleeve and are planning an all out attack.

Or could it be that she knows that I am about to leave for Whole Foods, the epicenter of juicy antibiotic/hormone free turkey legs, pristine pure filet mignon, and organic Rosie chickens? And homemade salmon treats?

I sense a connection, don’t you?

— roxanne @ 10:52 am — Comments (0)