Today is the birthday of Charles Everett Koop, M.D., best known for his tenure as Surgeon General of the U.S. from 1981 to 1989, when he defied Ronnie Reagan and dared to mention the word “AIDS.” Reagan would have preferred that the AIDS epidemic be ignored, and indeed, it wasn’t until 1987 that the word “AIDS” actually was publicly uttered by the president.

Koop wasn’t any less conservative than Reagan and his cronies (although Reagan seems almost daringly liberal compared to the Bush team), but he realized that politics and medicine don’t jive. A deeply religious man, he also realized that it was his responsiblity, as Surgeon General, to attend to the health needs of the nation. And at the moment, a new, misunderstood and rather deadly epidemic was underway.

I truly admire Koop. He is a hero, in that he refused to succumb to the ranklings of the Reaganites and pretend that AIDS was just a passing phase–and once it killed off all of the undesirables, it would go away. But instead of obediently obeying the President like a good little conservative, instead, Koop became the nation’s chief spokesman on the AIDS epidemic, creating untold controversy with his vocal support for early, candid sex education and the use of condoms. He received the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1995.

Just a few more details; he was born on this date in 1916, and served as chief surgeon at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia from 1948 to 1981. I shudder to think how far out of control the AIDS epidemic in this country may have gotten, had not Koop intervened and reversed the paralysis of our government.

So is the new James Bond going to carry around condoms and ask his “girls” if they’ve bugs in their crotch?

According to some, that’s exactly what he should be doing. Political correctness strikes again, it seems.

According to the latest “study” and I hesitate to use the word when discussing this nonsense, fictional character superspy James Bond was voted as the champion of unsafe sex by the medical world.

The Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine has released a study on 87 movies and came to the conclusion that films like “Basic Instinct”, “American Pie” and the James Bond movie “Die Another Day” showed frequent acts of sex, where the partners don’t use protections for sexually-transmitted diseases, the risk of HIV or birth control.

Dr Hasantha Gunasekera, the leading author of the paper and a research fellow in children’s health at Sydney University in Australia, said: “The study showed there were no references to important consequences of unsafe sex such as HIV transmission, spread of sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancy.

In Die Another Day, released in 2002, there is no reference to contraceptive use in the sex scenes between Bond, played by Pierce Brosnan, and the leading female characters played by Halle Berry and Rosamund Pike.

I’m truly amazed at the incredible “research” that is popping up these days. James Bond doesn’t discuss safe sex with his partners. Yeah, and? James Bond is a fantasy character, who moves in a fantasy world where all women are beautiful, tuxedos never get wrinkled, martinis are shaken not stirred, gunshot wounds don’t cause bleeding, where a single mortal (James) can take down an entire army, and super villians always are the losers. That is the land of James Bond, where incidentally, sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies do not exist. Sex does not have consequences, only pleasure.

If the authors of this study think that the Bond movies are supposed to be some kind of learning experience, and that they would somehow be enhanced by James flipping out a condom, well, then there’s really not much else to say. “Die Another Day” was one of the worst movies ever made, to say nothing of being the absolute worst Bond movie ever to hit the screen. But I can see that the idiotic plot and pathetic acting would really have been improved by the insertion of safe sex.

James: By the way, before we start screwing, I need to know if you’ve ever been tested for HIV. It really wouldn’t do for an agent on Her Majesty’s Secret Service to be catching and spreading STDs.

James: So do you prefer latex, lubricated, flavored, or what? I’ve got 150 different types of condoms, courtesy of Her Majesty.

Now that would really enhance a Bond movie, don’t you think? Wouldn’t diehard Bond fans really enjoy a discussion about STDs? Let’s make James Bond the purveyor of safe sex. Not only does he have a license to kill humans, but he has a license to kill STDs.

Dr. Gunasekera is obviously not playing with a full deck. While people are getting blown away in Bond movies, he is concerned that James may pick up a social disease. I think this doctor needs to get a life.

Gunasekera said: “Pretty Woman was the only movie with the vaguest reference to condom usage. Julia Roberts’s character gives the character played by Richard Gere a selection of condoms to choose from early in the movie. We then assumed a subsequent sex scene was protected sex.”

Well, that movie was a little bit different than a Bond flick. The movie was about a prostitute and her John, and so slipping in safe sex and condoms fit with the story line.

But even cuter are Dr. G’s observations about the movie Basic Instinct. According to the good doctor, there were six episodes of intercourse, and gasp–no condoms, no birth control measures, and no public health consequences.

Basic Instinct was filled with a line-up of characters who were borderline or full-fledged sociopaths. To say nothing of a roving homicidal maniac mincing bodies with an ice pick–and these characters are supposed to be concerned about safe sex? Surely you’re joking.

Let’s discuss those sex scenes. Foreplay is sitting around in a police station, crossing and uncrossing legs, wearing a short skirt and no underwear. Foreplay is also getting slammed into a wall, and having your carotid artery sliced by an ice pick. Safe sex, anyone?

The sexual encounters in this movie tended to be somewhat violent, based on crude lust rather than love and affection. The relationships between the different characters were dysfunctional at best, deadly at worst. I can see Michael Douglas groping Sharon Stone at the nightclub, trying to control his frenzied urge to screw her, and then scream, “Are you on the pill? Will there be public health consequences if we engage in sex?”

Or when he basically rapes Jeanne Tripplehorn (even though she was willing, it was still violent)–right before he slams it into her, she should have cried out, “Oh darling, I don’t know if I’m HIV negative. Wait, we need to get our blood checked before we can continue.”

The report also criticises films for portraying cannabis and other recreational drug use with no harmful consequences.

Uh, excuse me? No consequences for using drugs and getting wasted. Please watch Basic Instinct again and note how functional all of the characters are, and then what they do in their spare time. Drug use and drinking were very central to many of the scenes, and not in a very complimentary way. You got the idea that these characters were heading down the road to hell.

I don’t see anything wrong with inserting references to safer sex on a TV show, for example, or even a movie which may lend itself to that. But to point a finger to a Bond movie, and expect that he’s going to bag his dick in a condom, or expect that psychotic characters such as those in Basic Instinct are going to be concerned about contracting herpes, is ludicrous.

I think that Dr. Gunasekera has way too much time on his hands, and really needs to get out more. Sitting at home and obsessing about James Bond’s sex life is really not good for the soul–or the brain.
TimesOnline.com