Since today’s theme seems to be hurricane Katrina and the resurrection of the walking turnip himself, Michael Brown (also known as the bloodsucking parasitic growth), here is another bit of news which is guaranteed to make the intelligent among us gnash our teeth.

Instead of accepting his resignation and booting the twit out the door, Michael Brown was miraculously kept on as a “consultant,” and at a whopping salary of $148,000. A consultant of what, is the question. Did they consult with Michael to test out the idiocy quotient of a proposal, or use his brain as a standard of stupidity? Or did he consult on the potential disaster of blocked toilet bowls, or a shortage of disposable diapers?

Just remember, our tax dollars were keeping an incompetent and criminal jerk fed, clothed and employed.

Anyway, this is a letter that several senior Democrats sent to President Bush, expressing their outrage over Mickey’s consulting job.

From LibertyPost.com

Senior House Democrats Urge President to Terminate Michael Brown’s Consulting Contract

Published: Nov 9, 2005

WASHINGTON, Nov. 9 /U.S. Newswire/ — House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi and other senior House Democrats sent a letter to President Bush this afternoon urging him to immediately terminate Michael Brown’s consulting contract with the Department of Homeland Security.

Below is the text of the letter:

November 9, 2005

President George W. Bush

The White House

Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President:

We are writing to urge you to immediately terminate Michael Brown’s ongoing consulting contract with the Department of Homeland Security. After Mr. Brown’s dismal performance in preparing for and responding to Hurricane Katrina, your Administration’s decision to continue paying Mr. Brown an annual salary of $148,000 is inexplicable and a gross waste of taxpayer dollars.

After being relieved of his Katrina-related duties, Mr. Brown resigned as Undersecretary of Emergency Preparedness and Response on September 12. Two weeks later, Mr. Brown testified before Congress and confirmed that he was continuing to receive his salary as a consultant to FEMA. (1) Amazingly, he had been asked to stay on the payroll for 30 days in order to determine what went wrong with FEMA’s response to Hurricane Katrina. The Department of Homeland Security justified the contract by saying that Mr. Brown was “transitioning out of his job” and that FEMA needed to get a “proper download of his experience.”(2)

Now, we have learned that Mr. Brown’s contract has been extended for another 30 days. That is unacceptable. Incredibly, Secretary Chertoff defended the decision to retain Mr. Brown by saying, “We don’t want to sacrifice the real ability to get a full picture of Mike’s experiences.”(3)

It is difficult to imagine anyone less qualified to assess FEMA’s failed response to Katrina and make recommendations for improving the agency. Mr. Brown’s e-mails in the days immediately preceding and following Hurricane Katrina paint “a full picture” of Mr. Brown’s experiences. As an analysis released by our colleague Congressman Charlie Melancon demonstrated, the e-mails reveal that Mr. Brown made few decisions and seemed completely out of touch. Many of his e- mails focus on trivial matters such as what he should wear or who would care for his dog,(4) not on providing relief for those in desperate need.

FEMA should certainly debrief Mr. Brown, but he hardly needs to be on the taxpayers’ payroll for that purpose. An extended contract to “download” Mr. Brown’s experiences is an abuse of taxpayer funds and an insult to the survivors of Katrina who were so poorly served by Mr. Brown and his agency. We urge you to terminate this contract immediately.

Sincerely,

Nancy Pelosi, House Democratic Leader

Steny Hoyer, House Democratic Whip

David Obey, Ranking Member, Appropriations Committee

Henry A. Waxman, Ranking Member, Government Reform Committee

Bennie Thompson, Ranking Member, Homeland Security Committee

—

(1) Select Bipartisan Committee to Investigate the Preparation for and Response to Hurricane Katrina, Hearings on Hurricane Katrina: The Role of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (Sept. 27, 2005).

(2) Brown Still on FEMA Payroll, CBS News (Sept. 27, 2005).

(3) FEMA Extends Brown’s Contract by 30 Days, Associated Press (Oct. 27, 2005).

(4) Rep. Charlie Melancon, The E-Mails of Michael Brown (Nov. 2, 2005).

I love their comment that it is “difficult to imagine anyone less qualified to assess FEMA’s failed response to Katrina and make recommendations for improving the agency.” I think my cats have better power decision making powers, as does that cockroach running down the street. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought it was a cockroach. Silly me, not to recognize Michael Brown. Amazing the similarity between him and the common roach. I wonder if he is, perhaps, the missing link between human and the cucaracha .

Perhaps one of the few really positive stories to come out of the Katrina disaster is how the world famous Audobon Park survived with barely a scratch. Well, some 2,000 trees fell down, but they crashed away from the animals. The zoo survived relatively intact, and all of the animals survived except for three.

And the zoo reopened this weekend, a strong sign that the city is doing its best to return to life. Katrina and Michael Brown be damned. The Big Easy is coming back.

The hours at the zoo are still going to be limited after Thanksgiving weekend, open only on the weekends for the time being. But it is nice to know that some degree of normalcy is returning. And what can be more normal than spending the day at the zoo with your kids?

From Reuters:

Visitors streamed into New Orleans’ Audubon Zoo as it opened on Friday for the first time since Hurricane Katrina, bringing a hint of normality to a city still shattered, shuttered and largely depopulated by the storm.

By the zoo’s scheduled 10 a.m. opening time, some 1,000 parents and children were lined up outside the gates of the 120-year-old facility, peering in at gaudy pink flamingos on view just inside. By noon, the lawns and paths were packed.

“This is part of bringing this city back to normal again,” said Alaina Vizcarrondo, who had been a twice-a-week visitor before Katrina and brought her 3-year-old son, Kevin, on Friday to see his favorite animals. “We’ve been waiting for the zoo to open again.”

It should be a joke, and when I read about it on Scott Adams’ blog (the creator of Dilbert) I really thought he was kidding. But to my horror, I discovered that it was no joke.

Scott Adams wrote:

According to the news, former FEMA head Michael Brown is starting a disaster preparedness consulting firm. Readers of Dilbert could have predicted this. If you’re infamous for being slow to act, your best bet is a job that bills by the hour. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he used to be a lawyer.

I wonder how someone in the corporate world explains to his boss that he’s recommending the Michael Brown disaster preparedness consulting firm. “He only ignored one part of the country that was completely destroyed. And besides, he’s also a lawyer, so we know we can trust him.”

The tragic part of this is that Scott is serious. Even Dilbert is horrified, I’m sure. Can you imagine anyone less qualified to run a disaster preparedness consulting firm than Michael Brown? First, it is unforgivable that this man didn’t have to face charges of criminal negligence. He was more worried about what he should wear (as his emails demonstrate) than on the people drowning in New Orleans. I would hold Michael Brown personally responsible for the bulk of the deaths, and he should be in prison right now, facing charges of manslaughter, misuse of government funds, lying on his resume, and so on.

Second, can you actually imagine contacting this idiot if you own a company and want to learn how to cope in a disaster? The very name of Michael Brown should send you running in the opposite direction. If I was an insurance company, and found out that one of my clients had employed the Michael Brown company to develop its disaster preparedness, I would cancel their policy–effective immediately. In fact, any company which would consider using Michael Brown as a consultant should be forced to have its head honchos submit to three days of psychological observation, just to make sure that they are not homicidal maniacs.

From CNN, a reflective quote from Mickey. It just brings tears to my eyes.

“If I can help people focus on preparedness, how to be better prepared in their homes and better prepared in their businesses — because that goes straight to the bottom line — then I hope I can help the country in some way,” Brown told the Rocky Mountain News for its Thursday editions.

The article goes on to say that Mickey “admits” mistakes were made, and that he had been “planning on quitting anyway.” Yes, of course. Tell us another story, that your resignation had nothing at all to do with the Katrina fiasco. Here’s where the eyes roll until they pop out of your head. Is it really possible for a human being to be as stupid as Michael Brown?

Mikey also says that “companies already have expressed interested in his consulting business.” Really? Like who? Maybe a company that is planning to torch its headquarters so that they can collect the insurance money? Or one plotting to assasinate the union leader, and who wants to make it seem like an accident? Are those the sort of companies that he’s talking about?

Now, get the violins ready and grab your hanky. These forthcoming words from the lips of the living satan, Michael Brown, will surely warm the cockles of your heart. How appropriate for the Thanksgiving season.

“I’m doing a lot of good work with some great clients,” Brown said. “My wife, children and my grandchild still love me. My parents are still proud of me.”

What is his definition of “good work?” Never mind, I don’t want to know. And isn’t sweet that his family loves him. It’s nice to know that there are at least a handful of people on this planet who don’t want to blow his head off with a shotgun, or who would take great joy in dousing him with kerosene and striking a match. Burn, baby, burn.