I love tabloid stories, don’t you? The headlines always promise more than what’s actually embedded in the lines of the actual story. Then again, I could say the same for women’s magazines. The little ditties on the cover, which promise you the greatest skin ever, or the final solution to those lumps of cellulite, never meet up to the expectations. They are only designed to get you to buy the damn magazine, and hope that you’re not dumb enough to open it up first, and check if the story is really worth pursuing. Nine times out of 10, the hot story is a one page pseudo-ad, listing a bunch of overpriced products that promise to destroy that pimple, or solve that heart tugging problem of stray eyebrow hairs.

Anyway, I’m off track. This is a tiny tale from the Times Online, letting us know that nurses in the UK are too busy to feed their patients and as a result, they are starving to death. Ok, I’m exaggerating a little, but if nurses aren’t sure that they’re patients are getting fed, then it is possible to starve to death.

Patients are at risk of malnutrition because of a shortage of nursing staff to feed them properly, a survey suggests.

Almost half of the 2,000 nurses questioned by the Royal College of Nursing said that they did not have enough time to make sure that patients got their meals and were able to eat them because they were too busy. The findings come six years after the Government spent £40 million to improve nutrition in hospitals.

Difficulties getting food for patients outside set mealtimes was cited as the main problem by 49 per cent of nurses. Almost as many (46 per cent) nurses blamed a lack of staff to assist those patients who needed help eating.

Campaigners from the charity Age Concern say that elderly patients in particular are regularly going without meals because they are placed out of their reach or because they are unable to eat without assistance.

I wonder what the results would be if a similar survey was run in the US, particularly in long term care facilities where staffing is the most strained. Without enough aides to feed patients, who knows if they are getting fed.

Which reminds me of a story…a tale from my own sordid days of nursing. I used to work per diem at a great fancy hospital in Los Angeles. I would mention the name except I don’t want their PR weenies bothering me. Anyway, I worked in the NICU and one night (7pm-7am) I was pulled to the well baby nursery. These days, babies are encouraged (and sometimes aggressively) to spend most of their time with Mom. Not that there’ s anything wrong with that, but some new moms, especially if they’ve got other kids at home, like to take advantage of being able to get some sleep. I’ve heard that some hospitals these days don’t even have a well baby nursery–and believe me, it’s not because they believe in the miracle of mommy-baby bonding, but simply because it’s yet another measure to save money. I don’t know what they do with moms who are fresh sections, or who may be ill, or whatever. Maybe they just leave the baby in the room to cry and starve, or park in the hallway and hope someone takes pity on it.

But this incident was during the 1980s, and babies were often pushed back and forth from nursery to Mom and vice versa. The nursery was divided into several small rooms, and I had 8 kids assigned to me–all in one room. For one of the feedings, every single baby needed to be fed. Mom wanted to snooze. Well, how do you feed that many kids? I asked the charge nurse and her reply was “do the best you can.” Cool. So I picked up the one screaming the loudest, and began feeding. Many newborns are not the most voracious feeders, and they spit, need a lot of burping, etc. I also needed to diaper them, change the bedding if it was wet, weigh them, and do vital signs.

We had them on an every 4 hour schedule. At the end of that time, I had fed 7 of them and it was time to start again. So I began with the 8th baby, who effectively, was going to miss a feeding. I doubt that she suffered any ill consequences, but still. There was no excuse for this system. They could have easily gotten another nurse or aide to help out. But this was the most el cheapo hospital I had ever set foot in, and if short staffing meant a baby missed a feed, well, so what.

See, I’m not alone in my assessment of the great nursing shortage of 2007. I found an interesting entry in a blog, which like a breath of fresh (non-Seattle) air, is discussing the “real” problems in nursing. Not the whiney “oh we just need to train more nurses and then we’ll be fine,” or “all we need is more teachers…” or “we just need to indoctrinate 3 year olds that their only career choice is nurse.”

From the TPMcafe:

…and so was everyone else who had an inkling of healthcare training.

On April 26 (which is today, in case you didn’t know)1986, one of four reactors at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in the Ukraine melted down. Yes, the big meltdown, and probably one of the things that hastened the end of the Cold War, when the world saw a glimpse of what the aftermath of a nuclear war might be like.

The accident contaminated thousands of people with low-level radiation, and the extend of this damage is still unfolding before our eyes. It is a work in progress, unfortunately, and we may not see the true and entire impact for some time to come. But needless to say, the Soviet Union was ill prepared to handle it.

In 1996, International Chernobyl Conference in April 1996 documented 800 cases of thyroid cancer among children who were younger than 15 when their diagnosis was made. People who decided to sty in the contaminated zone–for whatever reason–have a mortality rate that is 18% higher than the general population. The rate of thyroid cancer is 10 times as high as it was before the accident occurred.

So the moral of the story is don’t play with nukes, keep your nuclear reactors in tiptop shape, and if the things starts to bubble over, get the hell out of town.

I really am trying to focus this blog more on nursing stuff and less on general healthcare, but I just can’t help myself when I see the FDA stick another thorn up their ass. In this case, the FDA was aware that pet food may have been contaminated, but dragged their feet and didn’t act for several weeks. Meanwhile, pets became ill and died, thanks to the efficiency and compassion of our friends at the FDA.

From ABC news.com:

The expanding pet food recall is the latest example of a “broken food safety program,” says Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., who asked why the recall has unfolded so slowly. Durbin asked the Food and Drug Administration’s top veterinarian if failing to recall tainted pet food until three weeks after the first suspicion of contamination was too long of a wait.

“I can’t answer that. I don’t know,” said the FDA’s Stephen Sundlof.

Now isn’t that an intelligent response. I mean, why should they know? They are only entrusted with ensuring food and drug safety for both humans and other mammals, but the best they can come up with is, “Duh…”

From the LATimes:

In announcing the Senate hearing last week, Durbin called the pet food inspection system “deeply flawed” and criticized the FDA’s response as “tragically slow.” He said he hoped to learn when the FDA learned of the contamination and who is inspecting pet food plants.

“What we see here is an indication of problems across the board with food safety — both human and pet,” Durbin said Saturday. “There are too many agencies, too many laws, too many committee chairmen and too many special interest groups, which results in a piecemeal and splintered approach to food safety.”

FDA officials could not be reached for comment Saturday.

Durbin said the Kansas facility where many of the products were made had never been inspected by the FDA. “I would be shocked if they inspected any pet facility,” he said.

The FDA has “the ultimate responsibility for the safety of pet food,” Durbin said, but leaves inspections of facilities to the states. He said he was told that Kansas had never inspected the facility.

Don’t you feel safe, knowing that the FDA is watching over food and drug safety?

Every official at the FDA, who had anything at all to do with this issue, or who has anything to do with pet food safety–like getting off their ass and inspecting pet food facilities–should be forced to eat the tainted pet food. Then if any of them are left alive, they should be arrested and held without bail, and charged with fraud (stealing taxpayer money and not doing their job), and everything else from corruption to negligence. And hopefully, all of them would be locked away for the rest of their pathetic lives.

And as I’ve said before, the FDA as we know it needs to be completely dismantled, everyone associated with it fired, and in its place, several new agencies introduced. One for drugs only, one for food only, one for alternative medicines, and maybe a separate one for veterinary. And all should have strict regluations that separate the agencies from the industries that they are supposed to be regulating. As it stands now, the FDA thinks that it is supposed to be regulating the financial health of the food and pharm industries. Have they taken any action against the pet food companies responsible for this? Heaven’s no, that might interfere with their profits. It’s bad enough that they were forced to recall the pet food–the FDA wouldn’t want to inflict any more pain and suffering on the poor industry…

Today is my birthday, and I must have won the favor of the weather God/Goddess because it did not rain today. In fact, the sun was out about half of the time. We drove to Gig Harbor, a lovely little town about an hour from Seattle, and it was so nice to be out of the city. Gig Harbor looks the way I had envisoned that Seattle might–full of trees, greenery and more trees. It smells so nice there. I imagine that Seattle was nicknamed the Emerald City about 100 years ago, when there were still heavily wooded spots and some greenery. Now it’s sort of…well, I don’t want to complain on my birthday.

Mt. Rainier even peaked out a little through the clouds, and it really was quite nice down there. Cute stores, nice restaurants, although not much in the way of shopping for food–no Whole Foods, although there’s a TJ’s across the causeway at University Place in Tacoma, probably 10 minutes away from downtown Gig Harbor.

Anyway, I really enjoyed my day and now I’m going out to chow down Thai food.

Check out Google.com. The artist who jazzes up the google name on holidays is a genius. But he or she really went over the top for Earth Day. It is beautiful. Enough to make you want to trash the SUV and get a hybrid, go veggie (YES!), and buy organic food. Just say no to GMOs.

Bizzy, bizzy, bizzy. I don’t know where the time is rushing to. All of a sudden I’m bogged down with work again, and some of it is my own doing. It’s called procrastinating, getting lost surfing on the web instead of writing up my conference proposals, wasting time on silly forums when I should be completing my book proposals…

Anyway, just as an important update. It did NOT rain yesterday in Seattle. Truly amazing. Today is dark and cloudy, and predictions are for possible showers. Whatever that means. It looks soggy outside, like if you just gave the clouds a squeeze, the rain would drip out.

Monday is my birthday, and it is predicted to be sunny, or partly cloudy, depending on which forecast you read. It’s supposed to be good luck to have rain on an important event, like a wedding or birthday, but I think in Seattle, the reverse is true. It is good luck to have sunshine on an important event, or at the very least, not need an umbrella.

Poor Dubya, so many people are revolting against his repulsive and destructive plans to remake the world in his image. The latest is that study (what nerve!) that shows that his hallowed abstinence–only sex ed programs, to which zillions of dollars have already been wasted, are totally ineffective.

That’s not what Dubya and his clan of cretins wish to hear, but numerous epidemiological and other investigations over the past several years have already said as much. Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance doesn’t prevent sex, or anything else for that matter. We know that “Just say no” to drugs hasn’t worked. Just say no to sex doesn’t work either.

However, the good news is that this time around, someone may take scientific data a little more seriously and realize that the money wasted on these sex ed programs (and other investigations have already shown that no one has even been paying attention to their quality–they are often riddled with inaccuracies in basic science, such as the number of chromosomes each parent has), and real policy change may be in the making.

From USA Today:

Supporters of sex-education programs that focus on teaching teens to abstain from sex until marriage and critics who want programs to include contraception and condom use are headed for a showdown as Congress ponders renewing an $87.5-million-a-year abstinence-only program set to expire June 30.

The debate sharpened with a congressionally mandated, $7.7 million study released Friday that found abstinence-only programs don’t stop — or even delay — teen sex. Over the past decade, the federal government has spent about $1.5 billion on such efforts.

“They had no impact on the age of first sex. They had no impact on the number of partners. And they had no impact on reported rates of pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease,” Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., chairman of the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, said in a statement following the release of the report by Mathematica Policy Research Inc. of Princeton, N.J., for the U.S. Administration for Children and Families.

Of course, Dubya-ites will argue that this data is flawed. Never mind that their own “data” is highly flawed and generally non-existent.

The U.S. has the highest rates of unwanted pregnancy, abortion, teen pregnancy, STDs, and HIV infection of any developed nation. We are also just about at the top of the list for infant mortality (I think we are one ahead of Latvia!). So doesn’t it seem like the time has come to tap our friends on the shoulder, nations like Canada, Australia, Germany, Sweden, etc., and find out what they are doing right???

Despite all the garbage swirling around the Bush administration, and all of the negative press that its getting (finally, the media is waking up), it still seems that his fanaticism against birth control is still pulling muscle. Unfortunately, poor women are the ones who are going to suffer the most, from the policies of Bush and his ilk–a group of wealthy white men who will never become pregnant, who have never known hunger, who have never known deprivation, and who have never been forced to bear endless children that they neither want nor can care for. Oh, and who will never suffer the complications and mortality associated with childbirth, or watch their children (the ones they can’t support) suffer and die from diseases and hunger, or have to send them off to work at a very young age.

But it seems that the Bush clan has managed to infiltrate the World Bank, and populate it with narrow minded cretins who think that birth control is a mortal crime and women should be kept barefoot and pregnant. Actually, I wonder if its simply a ploy to deny poor women in developing nations access to family planning, so that they keep reproducing and therefore keep up the supply of cheap labor.

This story about the World Bank has appeared all over the media, but this is a press release from CENTER FOR HEALTH AND GENDER EQUITY:

Groups Decry World Bank’s Attack on Family Planning

Reversal in World Bank’s position on family planning undermines country efforts to reduce poverty and prevent disease

(Washington, D.C., New York) - Today, the Center for Health and Gender Equity and International Planned Parenthood Federation, Western Hemisphere Region expressed shock over news that the World Bank’s managing director, Juan José Daboub, instructed specialists to delete all references to family planning from a country assistance plan for Madagascar. The move contradicts previous World Bank positions and internationally agreed principles and standards related to sexual and reproductive health and poverty reduction.

“The World Bank’s actions against family planning and HIV prevention are deplorable,” stated Jodi Jacobson, executive director of the Center for Health and Gender Equity. “Family planning and reproductive health services are critical to advancing the rights of women and essential to the eradication of poverty and to disease prevention. World Bank President Wolfowitz must correct this misstep and publicly clarify the Bank’s position and policy on sexual and reproductive health and rights.”

The World Bank’s move against family planning in Madagascar was unexpected since the World Bank recently affirmed the importance of sexual and reproductive health services in its 2007 World Development Report. In the report, the importance of access to sexual health and family planning health services and to safe and legal abortion services for the health of young women is recognized.

The quick reversal of policy suggests that there are personal motives for Daboub, the managing director who instructed Bank staff to remove family planning from the Madagascar proposal. Juan José Daboub is a former finance minister in El Salvador and a member of the country’s right-wing party, with close ties to the Catholic hierarchy. Wolfowitz hired Daboub in April last year.

(In case you didn’t know, Wolfowitz is a Bushee twirp–he formerly served as Deputy Secretary of Defense under Bush, so he’s also had a big role to play in the ongoing Iraq fiasco)

Carmen Barroso, Regional Director of IPPF Western Hemisphere Region stated that, “The World Bank should be expanding, and not reducing, its support for family planning and reproductive health, based on the growing international consensus that poverty cannot be eradicated without attention to reproductive health needs. Ideological infiltration by extremely conservative elements like Daboub should have no place at this international institution.”

The influence of those with ideologically driven positions on family planning and reproductive health should not be dismissed, and it is direct pressure from the Bush Administration, which itself is under pressure from religious fundamentalist groups that creates an environment where such views are able to influence policy.

When the World Bank Board meets next Tuesday to consider (among other pressing matters) the proposed new Health, Nutrition and Population Strategy it will be incumbent upon it to repudiate Mr. Daboub’s reversal of a long-standing and critically important policy on family planning.

“The Health, Nutrition and Population Strategy of the World Bank must include explicit references to family planning and sexual and reproductive health and rights,” said Barroso.

I’ve been in San Diego these past few days, at a conference. Oh, it is so nice to be in California. I wish I could take the sun home. Of course, it is raining in Seattle….well, I guess I’ll be seeing it tomorrow.

But it was so nice here. I’m staying down by the Harbor, and have a fantastic view from my hotel. SD is really nice, I have to say.

I had hoped to blog but my schedule was really full and I feel like I’ve barely slept. Will be back tomorrow or Sunday.

In fact, maybe that should be an added requisite to the promise of a scholarship. Study nursing or else, pay your own way. Hmm, that is an idea. I should suggest it to the nursing police and other experts, who are trying all sorts of “innovative” ideas to force people into nursing.

Now, before I confuse you further, the story I’m referring to concerns 10 year sextuplets who were born at the medical center at the State University of New York, Stony Brook, which is also now sometimes referred to as Stony Brook University. Because these children set a record in 1997 for the longest sextuplet pregnancy (29 weeks and one day), the hospital which took care of them has decided that they should be rewarded.

From the Seattle Times:

On Thursday, they celebrated their March 24 birthday on the campus of Stony Brook University, where they have been promised full-ride college scholarships. The six were born at the school’s University Hospital.

So the little Boniello bunch get to go to college for free. Stony Brook is a tough school to get into, and has high standards for admission, but apparently, these kids don’t have to worry about grades, SAT scores, or anything. Mom and Dad can relax and spend their money adding in a new bathroom, or taking their brood on vacation, because college costs are not on their radar.

I’m sure that families in New York State are just tickled to hear that. Families that may have bright kids who are college bound, but for whom paying for school is going to be a real sacrifice. Kids who’d love to go to StonyBrook but in order to do so, they’re going to be paying back loans for the next 10 years, and working part time jobs. And let’s look at another likely scenario–some deserving students are not going to get accepted because their places are going to be filled by the Boniello sextuplets–who may be less eligible to go but they’ve got their guaranteed acceptance and scholarship.

These publicity stunts really make me ill. Our society rewards families who manage to produce litters of kids (remember those septuplets a few years ago–they got a new free house and college scholarships), but basically ignores those who have really made a difference. For example, what about a couple who has adopted six kids with handicaps? Or who has just adopted six really hard to place (ie, older) kids? Is anyone clamoring to give their brood scholarships and guaranteed admission to college? Anyone offering them a free house, or a new and larger car, or 10 years worth of diapers and clothing?

No, of course not. They’re not special enough. Providing a home to orphans doesn’t rate on the scale of public interest or media sensationalism.

If I was a parent with a child who wanted to go to Stony Brook, I would apply for a scholarship. And if my kid didn’t get it, I would challenge the school. This is discrimination–the scholarships are not being rewarded because the kids are bright, are needy, are minorities, or any combination of the above. I guess they would be forced to declare a new category of for scholarships–sextuplets who were born at the university medical center.

The sunshine party. After the 4 days of sunshine experienced in 2007, there is glorious cloud cover this morning and rain. I was getting worried there for a moment. Four days without rain….would Seattle experience a major drought? Would everything turn brown and shrivel?

Fortunately, we didn’t have to worry about those untold consequences of a day without rain. Here it is again.

On another blog, which I can’t find at the moment, someone described Seattle as being like a giant sponge which is slowly squeezed. Thus, the constant dribble. Whereas other places have a rainstorm, and then it stops, and goes away, the rain in Seattle drips slowly and steadily. The overall effect is one of constant dampness and grayness….

Well, nothing like a little depression to get the day going!

What better way to celebrate Good Friday than with a power outtage? Once again, my neighborhood is in semi-darkness, thanks to the inability of Seattle Power and Light to improve service once and for all. I have partial power in my house, which I am thankful for. Also, unlike the last major outtage in December or January, it is a warm evening. Still about 65 degrees. The last time the power went out, it was the coldest day of the year–below freezing. So two things to be thankful for.

Of course, this is Seattle, which the talking heads call a “world class city,” and yet the power in my very middle class neighborhood is more reminiscent of Baghdad. There is no excuse for this. It’s one thing if there is a tragic storm (and even then, power lines in most civilized countries are underground to avoid this type of thing), but this is just daily usage. The power went out about 4 times last year. There is no excuse for it. I don’t suppose Seattle Power and Light would be amused if customers started deducting these outtages from the bill, but that’s what we should do. There needs to be an investigation as to why they are unable to maintain normal service, during normal conditions, to city neighborhoods.

When we had that windstorm last December or January, some people were without power for two weeks. In this world class city, two weeks without power in the middle of one of the coldest winters on record. I think they could have fixed in faster in Bangladash.

Blessed Good Friday to all of you who celebrate Easter. This year it seems that the holiday line-up is more in sync to its historical roots. Passover began on April 2, and according to the Bible, Jesus was celebrating Passover before his arrest.

It does seem that it is actually spring in Seattle. Four days now without rain, and temperatures were from nearly record breaking cold (in the 30s with some snow in the outlying area) to 70—in a matter of just a few days. What was I saying about a bipolar climate? So we’re all set for the Easter bunny to come hopping along.

Yes, poor Merck. Their campaign to reach the pot of gold is backfiring. While no one really thinks that the HPV vaccine is a bad idea, a lot of people (including me) do not think it should be mandated for any number of reasons. Safety and side effects loom large in the picture–as I’ve mentioned before, no other vaccine has ever been mandated so soon after release, and we’re talking about contagious diseases no less. The vaccine is also extremely expensive, for no apparent reason other than greed, so Merck dreamed of having their coffers lined with gold from federal programs which would pay for it.

But New Mexico is the latest Merck-o-phile to bite the dust. They have done a switch and said “nada” to a vaccine mandate.

From the LA Times:

Democratic Gov. Bill Richardson said in Santa Fe that he would veto a bill that would have required New Mexico girls entering sixth grade to be vaccinated against a sexually transmitted virus that can cause cervical cancer.

Richardson had indicated he would sign the bill after it passed the Legislature last month. He said he changed his mind after parents and doctors told him their concerns about the program.

Quite honestly, there are a lot more pressing health needs than pouring billions of dollars into programs to support Merck’s overpriced vaccine. Considering the very low rate of cervical cancer in this country, and the many steps that can be taken to halt it in its tracks, this vaccine is really not a priority. Especially not at that price.

Not to rag too much on Sandy Summers and her PC brigade, but after a conversation with an editor, where her name and antics came up (the editor said that although the Center for Nurse Advocacy means well, Sandy is just too over the line and out of touch to be used as a credible resource), I wasted some time surfing for other meaningful quotes. And here’s a doozy.

This comes from someone’s blog, and originally from the LA Times. But since the link to the Times is gone, the blog link will have to do. This blog entry is about the Heart Attack grill.

Sandy Summers of the Center for Nursing Advocacy, who’s quoted in today’s LAT:

“The endless association of sex and nurses leads people to believe that maybe nurses really are available to provide for the sexual needs of patients and physicians. It degrades the professional image, it demoralizes practicing nurses and drives any self-respecting person away from considering the profession.”

Yes, during the nearly 20 years that I worked as a nurses, most people thought that I was available for sex on tap. I mean, we had a big sign in our unit advertising the rates. Of course, the price differed depending on the type of medical insurance you had, and doctors had to pay cash….

I truly think that Sandy Summers has lost all touch with reality. Does she spend her days watching Deep Throat and General Hospital and then parlay that into real life?

I’m sure that the nurses practicing in Tempe have been demoralized to the point of paralysis, knowing that the Heart Attack Grill is alive and well and in operation. And I guess that I’m not a self-respecting person, and neither are any of the students currently undergoing nurses training. I mean, the association between sex and nurses has driving all the decent types away, so now the only students, practicing nurses, and those considering the profession are filthy whores who can’t keep their legs together, suicidal maniacs, child porn lovers, porn star wannabes, manic-depressives who refuse to take their medicine, and those who believe in George Bush.

It’s really a shame because Sandy does seem to be a nice person, but does she have a clue how much damage she is doing to the image of nursing? Aside from making a total ass of herself by making public statments like the one I just reprinted, she is trying to make it sound as though nurses, as a group, agree with her. Now that is what would drive people away from the profession…

Now they’ve gone and done it. Nurses are being depicted in an unflattering way. And the nurse police are up in arms, to the point where they feel that they have the moral right and authority to tell someone how to run his business, all in the name of preserving the purity and righteousness of nursing.

From USA Today:

The Heart Attack Grill — a theme restaurant whose specialties include the Quadruple Bypass Burger and Flatliner Fries, cooked in pure lard — is making health care professionals’ blood pressure rise, and not because of the menu.

It is because of the waitresses’ naughty nurse uniforms.

The waitresses wear skimpy, cleavage-baring outfits, high heels and thigh-high stockings — a male fantasy that some nursing organizations say is an insult to the profession.

So what we have is a greasy spoon diner in Tempe, Arizona, and the owner decides that he’d like his little eatery to stand out from the rest. He develops a menu that is in complete defiance of common health knowledge and common sense, and dresses his waitstaff in cute, sexy, nurse-themed outfits.

Would I eat there? No. But not because of the outfits. I don’t think I’d find anything on the menu that wouldn’t make me throw up. And while some may feel that the whole idea is in poor taste, particularly if you are a Bible thumper leftover from Victorian England who thinks that the word breast should be deleted from the dictionary—then yes, the outfits will offend you. People who feel uncomfortable being around persons in skimpy clothing will not want to eat here.

However, the nurse police feel that this is detrimental to the nursing profession. Sandy Summers and her police at the Nurse Advocacy Center have embarked on a campaign to force the owner to remove the offending outfits from his waitstaff (never mind the quality of the food), and several nurses even complained to the Arizona attorney general’s office. Are these people playing with a full deck or what? It’s Mel’s Cafe with some skimpy dressed women serving burgers fried in lard.

Are they really a threat to the nursing profession? Apparently, they think so. The nurses got the state board of nursing involved, which is miraculous by itself since the board of nursing generally does little else except collect fees and try to convince everyone to keep the archaic system of licensing in place. At any rate, they did contact the attorney general’s office, who said that the owner was “illegally” using the word nurse at his restaurant and on his website. Only someone who has a valid nursing license can use the title “nurse,” according to the attorney general’s office. I find that a little odd, because the title is either Licensed practical (vocational) nurse, or registered nurse. Not just nurse. The word nurse can also mean breastfeeding; women hired to care for newborns are often called nurses even if they don’t have a license.

At any rate, he refused to remove that n-word from his website but inserted an asterisk next to every nurse reference and included the following disclaimer:

“The use of the word ‘nurse’ above is only intended as a parody. None of the women pictured on our website actually have any medical training, nor do they attempt to provide any real medical services. It should be made clear that the Heart Attack Grill and its employees do NOT offer any therapeutic treatments (aside from laughter) whatsoever.”

The attorney general considers the case closed, but not so Sandy Summers and her gang of nurse police.

“Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession,” said Sandy Summers, executive director of the Center for Nursing Advocacy, based in Baltimore. “We’re asking people, if they’re going to have these fantasies, please don’t make it so public. Move these sexual fantasies to other professions.”

So according to Sandy, it’s quite okay if the waitresses were dressed in sexy fire fighters uniforms, policer officers, astronauts, soliders, nuns….as long as its not nurses. Sexual fantasies publically displayed are okay for other professions, but not for nursing. It’s okay to offend other people, but nurses are just too sacred for that.

Sandy and her troupe may not like it, but the owner of the Heart Attack Grill is not doing anything illegal, and he is free to run his business any way he likes. Even if it doesn’t meet Sandy’s approval. If anything, Sandy should realize that her attack has done nothing to help her cause, but has greatly increased business for this greasy spoon. In fact, Sandy, you are the greatest thing to come along for this guy. He’s probably going to bed every night kissing his Bible and thanking the good Lord that you found out about him.

And in the meanwhile, this ridiculous attack on a small restaurant simply weakens the credibility of the Nurse Advocacy Center. If I were thinking of donating money, I’d seriously wonder about how it was being spent. There are so many battles to be fought in nursing, and this certainly isn’t one of them. I also have to wonder about the Arizona nurses who wasted their time and energy on this ludicrous endeavor. What about working towards getting better pay in your state, or getting unionized? What about improving working conditions?

I imagine that anyone reading this is probably doing a great deal of head scratching, and wondering why the f**k these nurses are going to the extreme of contacting the state attorney general’s office? Do they really think that any of the customers are that dumb to think real nurses are serving them their food, nurses who are dressed in black, fetish goth outfits?

Oh, and I’m sure that the Heart Attack Grill is going to have a massive effect on the nursing shortage. You know, impressionable teens and tots are going to see these flashy girls serving up burgers and fries and think, “Oh my, this is what a nurse does. This is how they really dress. My tits aren’t big enough, and my ass is just way too fat for this outfit. Sorry, but I guess I can’t be a nurse.” And so, prime recruits for the nursing profession will be discouraged.