When I worked in the NICU, we used to refer to the obsessive lactation consultants as “Nipple Nazis.” You know, the ones who are basically telling new moms that their baby will die without breast milk, and think that NICU nurses are being cruel by not permitting mom to nurse a 1 pound premie hooked up to a ventilator.

So it is in the realm of the nipple Nazi that I write this note. And I’m sure that breast feeding aficionados are rejoicing over this story, and will find my comments nothing less than sacrilegious. However, I find this story rather disturbing.

Which story? Well, it concerns the Harvard student who is taking her medical boards so that she can become a physician. The woman, 33 year old Sophie Currier, demanded that she be given extra break time during the exam so that she could pump her breasts. The allocated 45 minutes wasn’t enough for her, despite the fact that she had been provided with a breast pump and a private room in which to pump. But I guess pumping on her break was too demeaning, or maybe she’s got extra gigantic boobs that take more than 45 minutes to pump? Or maybe she should be allowed to bring her baby to the test, and let it nurse while she filling in the boxes.

From the Boston Globe:

The woman, Sophie Currier of Brookline, argued that it would be uncomfortable and possibly pose a health problem if she took only the allowed breaks.

The National Board of Medical Examiners offered to let her pump while she took the test, but she said that would put her at a disadvantage during the exam, which she must pass to graduate and begin her residency at Massachusetts General Hospital.

“I now feel that I am able to take this test without putting my health or my child’s health at risk,” said Currier. “I hope this decision encourages moms to breast-feed and employers of moms to accommodate their needs.”

Yes, I’m certain that her health and that of her daughter are going to be jeopardized by her being restricted to a 45 minute break. And here’s a great line from the anonymous breast feeding specialists…”Lactating women can experience pain and risk developing infection of their breasts if they don’t express milk at least once every three hours.” Uh, maybe when you’ve got a newborn who’s eating every 2-3 hours, but at four months, a lot of kids are sleeping through the night. I don’t know of any breast feeding moms who set their alarm clock to wake up every 3 hours to either pump or force milk on a sleeping baby.

But let’s back track. Now not only is Currier demanding extra break time, but she has already been given an extra day to take the test! Duh, doesn’t that help with the breast feeding schedule? She has dyslexia and attention deficit disorder, so while everyone else has to take the test in one day, she gets two. And she doesn’t think that she is being fairly accommodated?

Now let’s take a look at this more closely. The test is 9 hours, and most students do it in one day. Since Currier has two days, that gives her 4.5 hours each day. So how many times does she actually need to pump her breast in a 4.5 hour period? She can pump or nurse her baby before the test, and pump or nurse afterwards. But she gets a 45 minute break in there, so that isn’t sufficient? Why on earth does she need an extra hour? Something is very wrong with this picture.

A lot of articles are yapping about how this is such a great step forward for mankind (the Medical Board is going to appeal the ruling, by the way), but to me, this woman seems just overindulgent and wants everything her way. While I think accommodations should be made for people who need them (and it seems that the Board has bent over backwards for her), I think this chick is really pushing it. Sorry, but having a baby does put some restrictions on you. There are inconveniences, and sacrifice, but it is a choice that she has made.

Pray tell, what is she going to do when she starts her residency? Demand that she get less on-call time than everyone else, get more breaks, gets off Christmas and New Year’s, and doesn’t have to work on weekends–all because she has children and is breastfeeding? Residencies can be brutal, especially the first year, and it seems that she can’t even cope with taking the Medical Boards, let alone a residency.

What will she do if it’s time to pump but a patient is crashing? Tell everyone to wait so she can empty her breasts? Is she going to demand a “light” residency schedule so she doesn’t have to be away from her children so much?

She also had the option of delaying the test, which is given several times a year. I have a friend who took off a semester from dental school when she had a baby, so that she could relax and take care of him during his first few months. Would it be so dreadful for Currier to take the test a few months from now, when her daughter is older and maybe nibbling on rice cereal?

Apparently, she has already failed the test once. And rather than review her options (of which there are numerous), and make some sane choices that might better suit where she is right now, she chooses to file a lawsuit. Great going.

Her lawyer was quoted as saying, “As a society we should be supporting her efforts to become a doctor, not put roadblocks up for her.” That has to be about the most bogus statement I’ve ever heard. They’ve basically paved her path with gold, and jumped through hoops to accommodate this woman. I guess if she flunks again, she’ll blame it on not having sufficient time to pump (maybe they should allow her a break every hour and then give her a week to complete the test), or blame it on the “mental stress” of her traumatic ordeal.

Personally, I feel a little sorry for any of her future patients.