This is a real cutie pie spam that I received in my regular email (as opposed to the trash that litters my comment box on this blog). I assume that the spammer was hoping to make contact with a bored male social misfit who is having trouble finding a chickie on his own. Instead, it fell mercy to my delete button.

Looking to meet up with the local bar slut? Well she is looking for you as well. Horny single girls in your area who are looking for no strings attached fun. Hop inside and find yourself a horny little fuck buddy.

Now in this day and age, you really need to know more about a person if you’re interested in such a proposition. HIV and other assorted delectable STDs are rampant, so surely you would think that any self-respecting fuck-buddy to be would be able to show her future partner lab reports which indicated a clean bill of health. That’s something one must insist upon these days, with HIV still on the rise, and those ordinary run of the mill STDs becoming increasingly resistant to antibiotics.

So the girl has got to be more than just horny and willing to screw without questions. She’s got to be cleaner than a whistle, and as antiseptic as Listerine.

Do you think spam will catch up to the modern age? Do you think that I would care if these spammers were infected with multi-drug resistant syphilis, and left to wallow for years as the disease ate away their body and brain and finally killed them?

I am so tired of spam. Sometimes I even accidentally delete real email as I’m clearing my mail box. And it’s funny, because rather than convince me to buy something, the continuous spam only strengthens my resolve to avoid any product that they’re pitching. Even if I was in dire need of Viagra…